The (A)sexual Documentary

Originally posted on Tumblr, reposted here for archiving. Please note that my views might be different to how they were when I wrote these posts. (Although in this case they’re pretty similar.)

So I watched (A)sexual recently, and I know it’s probably flogging a long-dead horse, but I thought I’d share my thoughts anyway because why not.

The short version of my feelings? Dan Savage is a dick – and I don’t like being negative about people, especially on a public forum, but blooming heck he’s awful.

The long version of my feelings? It was a weird documentary. I don’t know enough about who made it and such things to guess at their intentions, but it was all just very odd. I think maybe it was supposed to be balanced, but what really happened was that they had really sweet nice people talking about how asexuality is valid and it’s okay not to like sex and such, and then just one random guy who was an elitist so-and-so about it all and a random way of structuring to make it seem like asexuals would always be alone.

I mean honestly the structure was odd. From ‘two years later’ onwards I was confused – and not just because the documentary had very clearly been skipping from place to place and time already with no clear demarcation of the year it was filmed. Everything that was ‘two years later’ seemed to be about how David Jay’s relationships had fallen apart, and how he was now considering having sex so he could have what might be called a ‘normal’ relationship. My heart went out to him, and I think it was an important thing to show in the documentary – we are pressured by the outside world, things can go wrong, our lives aren’t perfect and definitely not ‘boring’, as some people say. But to so clearly make it ‘two years later’ when other things that I thought might be later weren’t clearly shown to be at the same time as the ‘two years later’ was not only misleading but suggested a conscious restructuring of the entire documentary to make it seem like aces can only be in happy relationships if they’re with other aces or if they have sex – basically echoing Dan Savage, the only clear nay-sayer in the entire documentary.

In short, what the fuck was that about?


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