GQ Challenge: Day 9

The Genderqueer Challenge is here.

9. What have you done or plan to do to socially transition? Pronouns, name, coming out, etc.

I have come out (either directly or by them finding out from my Tumblr) to nine people. I think six of those people use my name(s) and pronouns (although with varying success), and one of those people uses (or at least I hope they use) the pronouns that I asked them to use out of a fit of anxiety that no one would ever actually use my proper pronouns.

Actually, I wasn’t going to tell the story of how I came out to that particular person, but it’s so weird that I feel like it’s worth telling.

I was contacted by someone at my college who wanted to pass a motion in the JCR (‘the democratic collection of undergraduates at the college’ is the best way I can describe it) to make the language of the JCR constitution more accepting of people who aren’t men or women. Which is super cool. I was not out to this person at the time, but apparently when they asked our LGBT rep for advice on the motion, they sent this person my way. The only way I can think of that this happened is because I sometimes wear a jumper that says ‘No Binaries Allowed’ — again, this is super cool because half the reason I wear that jumper is to kinda show Nonbinary Pride, so it’s pretty cool that it might’ve led to this situation.

But I digress. I helped this person out, and they asked me if I knew anyone at college who was nonbinary since that might strengthen the case (which, in retrospect, is Not Cool because you shouldn’t out your nonbinary friends), and I said that I was the only person I could think of. Cue asking for pronouns whilst I’m in a giant anxiety mode and me going for ‘they’ instead of ‘ey’ because it’s more socially acceptable. But never mind.

Anyway, hopefully by November this motion will have come up at a JCR meeting and been passed and I’m super stoked for that (and also mildly anxious that I’ll be outed but it’s okay because I was planning to come out more anyways).

And those brackets bring us on to what I plan to do, which currently is nothing. I was planning earlier in the year to do the cliche Facebook coming out post in late September or October, when I go back to uni (after giving my parents a quick rundown, if I could bear it). However, stuff has happened since then that isn’t really my thing to talk about but means that I don’t want to come out to my parents anymore. I thought about making a Facebook post where I specifically take family out of the people who can see it, but there’s so much room for error with that that I don’t think it’s worth it.

Other than that, I do want to try to be more open at uni (and have people at uni more consistently use my name and pronouns), but since I haven’t been able to tell even my really close lefty friends due to anxiety, I’m not sure how likely that is to happen.

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